I am an adjunct instructor at three for-profit universities who is interested in engaging shy, withdrawn students. This blog will mine the collective experience and practical wisdom of teachers and other specialists in elementary, secondary and post-secondary education for the purpose of engaging shy, remote students in productive classroom work and school activities.
Shyness as Absence
The Formidable Prison of Shyness
“What other dungeon is so dark as one’s own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one’s self!” ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Shyness of Family Members
“This is the curious abyss that divides the closest kin, that the tender curiosity appropriate to lovers is inappropriate here where the bond is involuntary, so that the most important things stay undiscovered.” ~ Angela Carter, novelist
If you’re serious about overcoming shyness, don’t befriend more buddies on Facebook or Twitter. Get out and socialize with people. This article gives tips and techniques for doing just that.
There is a difference between a connection and a bond. This article describes in detail the contours of that difference. Author Stephen Marshe concluded his article with the following comment:
“Nostalgia for the good old days of disconnection would not just be pointless, it would be hypocritical and ungrateful. But the very magic of the new machines, the efficiency and elegance with which they serve us, obscures what isn’t being served: everything that matters. What Facebook has revealed about human nature—and this is not a minor revelation—is that a connection is not the same thing as a bond, and that instant and total connection is no salvation, no ticket to a happier, better world or a more liberated version of humanity. Solitude used to be good for self-reflection and self-reinvention. But now we are left thinking about who we are all the time, without ever really thinking about who we are. Facebook denies us a pleasure whose profundity we had underestimated: the chance to forget about ourselves for a while, the chance to disconnect.”
Engaging the Shy Student
As teachers we encounter them every day. They often sit in the back of the classroom, in the far corner of the room, or near the door for a speedy getaway. They seldom speak in class, unless directly spoken to. Some do not even make eye contact with us. Although these students may be attentive in class and do good work, they really excel at one overriding skill — averting attention from themselves. Like butterflies blending into their surroundings, chronically shy students have learned a similar survival skill — disappearing in plain sight.
Shyness is a major phenomenon. Recent statistics estimate that 50% to 60% of college students report being shy. Shyness is also a durable phenomenon. It has consequences far beyond college, impacting one’s career success and life-long earning power. Research indicates shy employees make less money than non-shy colleagues, due to less frequent requests for raises, lowered visibility on the job, which often requires greater speaking and leadership skills, and more job-interview difficulties. In addition, shyness is an all-encompassing phenomenon, influencing not only career and income, but also one’s relationships, social network and long-term health. Shy individuals report greater health problems because of poor social support networks, so critical in maintaining health. And if shyness becomes chronic, it can scar one’s later years, leading to severe loneliness, psychological problems, chronic illness, and a shorter life-span.
This blog will mine the collective experience and practical wisdom of teachers and other specialists in elementary, secondary and post-secondary education to engage shy students in productive classroom work.
